Texture: gritty, as if some thick-necked muscle creep kicked sand into your Nutella while you were sunbathing
Colour: medium dark brown
Taste: Nutella for night owls
Sweetness: 9
Calories: 544/100 g (because I lost the paper box it came in, I copied this from my earlier post on the pistachio Muzzi spread)

You know how some shops have those signs about how they’ll give a free puppy and an espresso to unsupervised kids? This stuff will work just as well. Plus, it’s got that Hansel and Gretel “come hither” attraction that means a kid would actually down this.

I got this spread at that same fancypants deli that I got the pistachio spread. When I went there again in May, they didn’t stock any more. And after I had commended the owner back in January for it! I guess I’ll just have to order future servings online.
It was good, a nice improvement on other chocolate spreads. The semi-fine crumbles of coffee beans give it a sharpness that feels like you’re swallowing glass. Did I mention that it is a pleasant feeling?